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IPA email support group

What is Ewailer?
How to join
Technical Information and Help

What is Ewailer?

The IPA is about community. An "online community" is a valuable resource for people, especially those that are far away or isolated in their daily lives. Ewailer is an email discussion group for IPA members. It exists in order that we can support one another, connect, share, grow, feel, and heal in a safe and caring environment, no matter where we are in the world.

Ewailer is an alias for a large group of e-mail addresses. When you send an e-mail to the group, it automatically goes to everyone on the Ewailer list. The group is hosted by Yahoo. Group members can log on to the Yahoo site and create a personal profile, post photos, and view other member profiles. More information on this is included in the technical information section below.

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How to join

If you are an IPA member and you would like to join the Ewailer group, contact


If you are not an IPA member, and you would like to be part of our email support group, go to our membership page for information about membership. Contact information and a printable Membership Application form is available there. When you apply, indicate that you would like to be a part of Ewailer. We look forward to having you with us!

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Ewailer moderators

Ewailer is a moderated discussion group. The following IPA members are currently acting as moderators: Dave Gorsky and Julie Elaison

Feel free to contact him at the address below if you have questions or concerns about the list or postings on the list.

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Ewailer guidelines

Ewailer is a very supportive, self-regulating group. The following guidelines exist to help with conflicts that occasionally arise. Please read them.
These guidelines exist to maintain safe process and communications. Feel free to contact the moderators at any time if you have questions or concerns about the list or postings on the list.

Please read the guidelines below. These guidelines exist to maintain safe process and communications. Feel free to contact the moderators at any time if you have questions or concerns about the list or postings on the list.


1.1 This is a discussion forum only. The opinions and views posted on this list are not necessarily those of the IPA. Therapy is not provided on this list.

1.2 All email posted to this list is CONFIDENTIAL. Do not copy, forward, or otherwise distribute emails without the permission of the sender.

1.3 It is suggested that members clearly mark the SUBJECT line of each email in order to indicate the content of your post, such as CHAT, HUMOR, ANNOUNCEMENT, HELP!, THEORY, SUPPORT, etc. (Note that some spam filters block e-mail lacking a subject line.)

1.4 If an email discussion becomes a lengthy, off-topic discussion between a small number of people and has no relevance to the group, please be considerate of the group and take your discussion off-list (that is, address your reply to only those people involved in the discussion).

1.5 Keep in mind that when you hit "reply," your message will be sent to the entire group, not just to the person who sent the original email. If you would like to reply to that person individually, you will have to remove the group name from the "to" line and add the individual email address.

1.6 Attachments cannot be sent to Ewailer.


2.1 A sense of safety is of paramount importance for healthy primal process and communication.

2.2 Primal process occurs when we stop acting out to the best of our ability and feel our own pain - when we own our triggers.

2.3 Acting out is characterized by avoiding our feelings and attacking, blaming, "dumping", criticizing, judging, shaming, insulting, unsolicited advising, patronizing, projecting, or using indirect contempt such as sarcasm, condescension, and ridicule.

2.4 Safety can arise when we are not exposed to such act-outs, or that when these act-outs inadvertently happen, we recognize them as act-outs in a climate of mutual caring and understanding.

2.5 Safety is increased when members are heard and supported in the expression of their feeling issues, which are valid as their truth.


3.1 Speak of your own feelings, and feeling process - your truth.

3.2 Accept others and their process as they are.

3.3 If you wish to comment on another's process, be sure to indicate that these are your perceptions/views/projections.

3.4 If someone comments on your process, you have the right to ask them to stop.

3.5 Feeling supported is feeling heard - not being judged, analyzed, or advised.

3.6 If you feel "dumped on," reply with YOUR feeling, owning your trigger as best you can.

3.7 If you are called on for "dumping," look at YOUR feeling, and respond with YOUR feeling as best you can.


4.1 The group is expected to be self-regulating, and members are encouraged to resolve their own conflicts using the guidelines stated above.

4.2 Members are expected to take responsibility for their role in a conflict.

4.3 Members who need assistance in a conflict are free to ask for moderator assistance.

4.4 Moderators have the right to intervene in a conflict if it is perceived as compromising group and/or individual safety.

4.5 If the conflict persists, moderators have the right to insist that all involved members join them in a separate conflict resolution group until the conflict is resolved.

4.6 When conflicts arise on IPA Ewailer that cannot be resolved by the members and the moderators, the persons involved have the right to consult the Member Advocate, the Council of Elders, or the IPA Board.

4.7 Any member who repeatedly endangers individual or group safety by acting out on other members may be placed on moderated status or asked to leave the group. On moderated status, a member's email is sent first to the moderators before it is released to the group. Moderated status remains until the conflict is resolved to the degree that the person on moderated status can post according to the Safe Group Process Guidelines.

* These guidelines were adapted from the Primal Support Group (PSG) Safe Process Guidelines.

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Technical information and Help

Click here for tips on Ewailer, Email, and YahooGroups. For more help with YahooGroups, try the help page on the Yahoo site:





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